I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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