i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
