you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
