Got a toothbrush?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
