There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
