I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize