he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
