I need help removing her.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
