I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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