"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize