Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
