we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
