Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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