I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
