i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Oh god it's open bar.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
