If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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