I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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