All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
