She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
cat food counts as protein by the way
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
