Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
false alarm. still invincible.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
