literally had 100 drinks last night.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
