I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
someone threw a dead crab at me
i permit you to call me
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
