did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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