Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
