I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Randomize
