they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
