last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
