I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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