Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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