Kiss
Puke
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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