Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Randomize