She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
