that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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