You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
