I can't watch pbs sober anymore
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize