We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
When are your genitals available?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
