I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
