FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
