don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
