this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just pee around me
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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