There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
