They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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