I want to make a zoo with you.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i was born a porn star she said
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
