watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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