i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize