I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize