got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
