Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
