I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Randomize
