Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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