I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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