party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
