Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
