An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
this just has baby written all over it
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
