i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
