census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
