I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
