You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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