I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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