after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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