I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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