Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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