the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
