ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
