you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
