my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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