So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
