evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
