I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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