She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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