And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
