Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
