dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
