fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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