i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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