so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
