Will you blow on my dice?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
